How to Begin Your Sexual Role Playing Adventure

For some, the phrase ‘role play’ can send a shiver of excitement down our spines, but for others it’s might be more an uncomfortable chill of fear. But it doesn’t have to be. Many people find it easier than others to develop a new ‘part-time’ persona to explore sexual situations they normally would never do, which allows allows them to experience greater fulfillment and brings them closer to their partner.

A recent survey said that 73% of couples had experimented with role play at some time in their lives, but if you’re a beginner, how do you get into it without feeling weird?

handcuffed BDSM girl's breasts

Annabelle Knight,a leading Relationship & Sex Expert in the UK, gives practical advice for first time role players to First, know what you want. Annabelle says if you’re thinking about bringing role play to your sex life it’s important to think about what you want to get out of it, and choose the right role playing situations that fit. For example, if you want to try bondage for the first time and you don’t want to just be “yourself”, try a police themed role play scenario and use handcuffs. Want to play the more submissive type? Try playing the secretary and boss, or doctor/nurse role playing themes.

Then, once you know what you want, talk through it. Annabelle suggests that you explain exactly what you want to happen in your role-playing sex fantasy. If your partner knows exactly what you’re after it’s easier to improvise around the ‘plot’.

After you plan your theme and choose your outfit, ie; police officer, business suit, nurse outfit, etc., think about your “setting”. Are you in an interrogation room, a business office, classroom, hospital bed? Try to make your setting fit the feel.

Other beginner role playing ideas could include acting as sexy strangers that meet for the first time somewhere, like at a local hotel bar, or even playing a hitchhiker. Wear a wig or other disguise, develop your stories, and let the flirtation begin!

Can Kinky Sex Play be the Secret to Your Success

  1. Kinky Sex Could Be the Secret to Your Success  

    According to, having kinky sex might just be the secret to your success. Recent research confirms that if you desire kinky sex, it can benefit you not only in the bedroom, but outside of it as well.

    Unconventional sexual practices and fantasies like BDSM, group sex and role play have been shown to reduce psychological stress, improve mental health, and can even help you to have satisfying and communicative relationships. And believe it or not, they say kinky people have also been found to have higher self-worth than those who are too afraid or ashamed to pursue their fantasies!

    Jamila Dawson, a Los Angeles-based sex therapist specializing in kink and polyamory, told the online magazine that a healthy relationship to kink can “absolutely be the underlying cause of some people’s success. I see this all the time in my practice.”

    That’s probably all we need to know! But if you want too read the entire article, including seeing their cool graphics describing the benefits of being a DOM and a Sub, and all the other benefits of kinky sex play, go here

Man who initiated rough sex found not guilty of rape and assault

  1. Man who initiated rough sex found not guilty of rape and assault 

    A New Zealand man who hit, choked and had rough sex after sexual role play with a woman has been found not guilty of rape and assault.

    Apparently the jury accepted the accused might have had reasonable grounds for not realizing the woman wanted him to stop, despite her saying so.’

    The defense lawyer said the woman led James Charles Loads to believe she was into rough sex and role play, “These were two people who were out of their depth.”

    However, the woman in this case had cried, vomited and pleaded Loads to stop.

    The woman contacted a friend immediately after believing she was raped, and the friend took her to a hospital where she contacted the police.

How Consent and BDSM Role-Play Actually Works

  1. Here’s How Consent and BDSM Role-Play Should Actually Work

    Role playing means two people have a conversation and decide, “I think this sounds really hot, now how can we sensibly play this out?”

    But you have to negotiate before you start playing. When you negotiate, you talk transparently about what you like, your no-go zones, and you say what you might or might not be be okay with.

    If you slap, learn how to do it safely and be prepared to support each other emotionally. An article in explains, in great detail, ways to enjoy BDSM and sexual role play without crossing the line, including:

    • Responsible BDSM players do not negotiate or play while intoxicated.
    • A master-slave contract takes time, thought, and sensitivity to negotiate.
    • Race play requires extra-sensitive negotiation and consent.
    • All roeplay requires an affirmative yes from both partners to all planned activities.
    • Always establish a safe word.
    • Accidents happen even when there is consent and proper preparation, but there’s a way to deal with that.
    • Consent is ongoing, and it can be rescinded at any time.

     The Cut