4 tips for couples to help save your sex life

Sex educator and author says that although romance novels, porn, role play and lingerie are all great ways to spice up your sex life, they usually aren’t enough.

Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. and New York Times award-winning author, recently told the Better section of nbcnews.com that no matter how much you’re trying to pump the sexual accelerator, chronic stress from daily routines like work, childcare, and less sleep can put the brakes on your sex drive.

“Stress is a survival mechanism to help you when your body is sending you signals that say you are not safe right now,” Nagoski said, “and if you’re not safe right now, is that a good moment to be having sex?”

Here are four techniques Nagoski suggested that couples can do to help get their sex lives revved up again:

Schedule Time For Sex

Nagoski said that Couples who stay in long-term, happy relationships usually prioritize sex, and even put it on their calendars. So instead of thinking that scheduling your sex time is not very romantic, Nagoski asks, “..is there anything we do in our lives that’s important to us that we don’t schedule?”

Don’t “Chase” After Sex

Sometimes when one partner wants sex, the other just isn’t in the mood. But Nagoski says sex it isn’t about a desire for pleasure, it’s about a need for intimacy. So if your sex partner isn’t interested when you are, chances are they are really just too stressed out or exhausted.

So if your relationship lacks sex, the worst thing you can do is to chase it. Chasing after sex will probably only just increase their stress.

Don’t Focus So Much On Sex

Don’t make sex the goal, focus on building intimacy. Try to agree that you and your partner will go without having sex for a certain period. When the pressure for sex is off you’ll have space to be more intimate in other ways, like cuddling and kissing, which can reduce your stress levels and get you both in the mood to having sex again.

Considering Visiting A Sex Therapist

Nagoski said while that couples who have a strong friendship should be able to more easily do these exercises to rebuild their intimacy, some couples can find it more difficult, “My first recommendation is always to find a sex therapist, because we are all so tender and sensitive around sexuality, and it can be difficult to talk with each other about it in a way that is never blaming and never hurtful.”

Emily Nagosky’s mission in life is to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies.

Role play in foreplay enhances sexual experience

A user question in the column ‘Putting Dr G on the spot’” in the “health & wellness section of the Enquirer.net, a recently married women trying to conceive is concerned about her husband’s sexual performance. She wrote, “I think my husband is nervous and anxious, especially due to pressure from the family to have a baby. He tends to rush into the “business” and this can be a turn off for me, resulting in disappointment.”

“I initiated sex a few times, asking him to focus on foreplay and take things slower. I even suggested role-play in the foreplay to help us relax…My husband was excited with the whole idea, but simply clueless of where to start… what scenario would be best for role-play for beginners like us?

Dr.George Lee, a consultant Urologist and Clinical Associate Professor, answered that sexual role-play during foreplay is generally a good way to overcome such inhibition.

“Foreplay is generally considered intimate behavior between couples to generate emotional and physical readiness for sexual activities” Dr. G responded, “The initiation is by far the most important step in foreplay… The process can begin with non-physical gesture of whispering, teasing and flirting to generate sexual interests.”

Dr. G said it’s not uncommon for inexperienced newlywed couples to have sexual intimacy problems due to shyness and inhibitions, and since these sexual inhibitions can create a negative impact, certain people can feel uncomfortable and even think acts of kissing and caressing are intrusive. “Role play in foreplay is generally a good way to overcome such inhibition.”, Dr. George said.

He explained, “Physiologically, role-play of different scenario creates certain levels of confidence and trust between couples to intensify intimacy. Role-play can have strong erotic elements, involving couples to act out roles in sexual fantasy. Typical fantasy would be medical fetishism of doctor and nurse, or office scenario of executive and secretary.”

“The success of role-play in foreplay to enhance sexual experience is only achievable when both parties are willing to communicate and explore.”

The doctor quoted former NBA professional basketball player Michael Jordan, saying, “Just play, have fun and enjoy the game!”

Dr. G’s advice on role playing: “Just play, have fun and enjoy each other!”

Eau Claire schools to add and role playing scenarios to sex ed class

Eau Claire schools will add scenarios and role playing to sexual education classes  WQOW TV News 18

In the wake of the ‘Me Too’ movement, the Eau Claire School District is taking a new approach to sex ed.

Director of Academic Services David Oldenberg said they’ve always taught consent because it’s part of state standards and they’re adding an emphasis on role playing and scenarios to the lessons.

Oldenberg said human growth and development classes start in 5th grade and those students will be learning more about boundaries and how to communicate when something doesn’t seem right, and said those boundaries include determining what they consent to, and that it’s okay to set boundaries.

“When you give students the opportunity to role play, to practice the skill in a safe environment with a caring adult and with peers that are also on this learning journey, students really have an opportunity to be comfortable, to be transparent, to build that relationship and practice the skill,” Oldenberg said, and added “one of the scenarios students will learn about is what a healthy relationship looks like.”

Oldenberg also said students will also be taught how to communicate consent.

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How to revive your sex life

How to revive your sex life  Pune Mirror

The start of a new year is as good a time as any to make sex fun once again.

The Pune Mirror says to look at sex differently, try and look at it in a new way and see how it feels. “Be upfront about your sexual needs. If you know your body and how it functions, it is easier to communicate with your partner.”

Don’t be afraid to try role playing, new sexual positions, and get physical. And don’t be too shy to try new sex toys.

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