What is the Anal Sex 45-Degree Rule

Have you ever heard of the “45-degree rule” for having anal sex? Not many people have, but according to refinery29.com, besides anal lube it’s the best key to enjoyable anal sex play for both men and women.

When inserting anal beads, a butt plug, a dildo or penis inside the anus, don’t just “stick it in your butt and go”. The 45-degree rule refers to the angle in which you are tilting the object into the butt. So if you want to take your anal sex butt play to the next level and unlock erogenous zones you never even knew you had, start using the 45-degree rule as soon as you can.

Warm Up With Butt Plugs – at an Angle

Since going straight for anal can cause pain, and nobody wants that, you’ll have to warm up the ass for sex play first.

Certified sex educator and sex toy company ‘b-Vibe’ CEO, Alicia Sinclaire, told the online magazine that focuses on young women that she recommends using butt plugs, “Butt plugs apply pressure and push towards the clitoral structure or prostate. They can definitely be used as a warm up for penetration, but they can also be an awesome main course,”

Because the anus muscle requires some extra work to be ready for penetration with bigger objects, butt plugs not only warm up the anus for penetration for the larger sex toys or penis, but they also stimulate the prostate and the anus opening, creating a feeling of fullness.

“If you’re having difficulty getting your butt plug in, warm up with a finger or two first and use lots of lube. Help your body open-up before you try using an anal sex toy.”

So how does the 45 degree rule come into play? The best way to slide your anal sex toys in and out of the anus, for easier insertion and best pleasure, is at an optimal angle, “Slowly angle the toy downward about 45 degrees, so that one side of the bulb slides inside the anus. Keep the toy at that depth, and then gently angle the toy upward about 45 degrees,” Sinclair said.

“Go back and forth like that a few times, gently going a bit further in with each change in direction. It’s similar to the way you can get a tight pair of jeans on by shimmying your hips side to side, but a lot slower. Once the bulb is past the internal anal muscle, the toy should slip into place.”

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Because the A-spot is located at the inner ends of the vagina between the cervix and bladder, some women can actually reach the back of the clitoris through anal sex. Not every woman will feel the stimulation, but there is no harm in trying.

Sinclaire says, “If you own a vulva, anal orgasms can often happen through indirect stimulation of the erogenous zones inside the vagina. The G-spot and A-spot, are key places for pleasurable stimulation through the shared wall between the vagina and rectum.”

She said deep penetrative positions, such as doggy style, can help to hit the A-spot. The 45-degree rule applies here also, “Once in position, you’ll want to instruct your partner to angle 45 degrees upward (toward your belly button).”

The person on the bottom, or person receiving anal stimulation, is always in control. Move back and forth on your partner’s penis or dildo while arching your back.

Since every person’s body is different, you’ll have to be patient to find out what works for you. It will probably take time to find the right way to stimulate your partner (or yourself) during anal sex for optimal pleasure, but once you’ve done it, you’re in for quite a treat!

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Can Role Play Spice Up Your Sex Life?

Sex is always great in the beginning of a new relationship, but without the thrill of discovery or without anything new to look forward to the lust gradually wears off. If this is happening to you, role playing can add some sexual adventure and excitement back into your sex life!

How role playing spices up your sex life:

  • It lowers your inhibitions
  • Most people don’t even try role-playing because they feel insecure or inhibited by what they think their sex partner will think of them. But they’re probably just not realizing their partner is probably as turned on and excited to try something new as they are. Just be sure to talk about what you want to do and make sure your insecurities are addressed before you dive in to try role play.

  • You can choose who you want to be (in the bedroom)
  • Role play allows you to choose whoever you want to be in the bedroom. From the policeman or woman and burglar to the teacher-student fantasy affair, or even just pretending your sex partner is a random stranger you pick up in a bar, you will always have a wide variety of role playing character options to choose from.

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  • Role play boosts your sexual confidence
  • By trying something new, you’ll be more aware of your body so sexual role playing can boost your physical self confidence. Having better confidence in your role play character can give you better all-around self confidence, which can lead to GREAT sex.

    Do it right! Try to “get into character” as much as you can – use the right costumes, makeup and props, and be sure to find the right music that fits the mood and theme you are trying to create. But don’t go too crazy at first, If you are new to role play, try to keep it simple, you can gradually amp up your sexual role play fantasies as you both get more creative, and confident, in what you want to do. And who you want to be.

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    Psychology Today: Most Americans Have Tried Unconventional Sex

    Sex is adult play. Like in any playground, there are many possibilities, none better or worse than the other. it doesn’t matter how adults “twist the sheets”. It’s play. It’s pleasure, and erotic pleasure is uniquely individual.

    Psychology Today says that what passes for “conventional lovemaking” today for some – heterosexual kissing, cuddling, vaginal intercourse and maybe some oral sex, most Americans have played with sex in other ways.

    Some of their more interesting findings were:

    • More than half of American women own at least one vibrator.
    • Most Americans lose their virginity in their late teens, mostly around 17 years old, which is just one or two years later than today’s grandparents did.
    • Premarital sex is universal, 95 percent of Americans were not virgins on their wedding nights.
    • 15 to 20 percent of American men patronize sex workers, prostitutes, at some point in their lives.
    • Eleven percent of Americans (around 30 million people) are not exclusively heterosexual.
    • Before age 50, 40 percent of Americans have experimented with oral-anal sex (analingus), penis-anus intercourse, sphincter massage, fingering or toy insertions.
    • Many Americans with chronic conditions and disabilities can’t play conventional sex roles and make love in other ways.
    • Many elderly lovers can’t accomplish intercourse, so they instead play sex with hand jobs, oral, toys, and even some other forms of kinky sex.
    • About 20 percent of American adults have had group sex, or engaged in threesomes, polyamory or swinging.
    • Indiana University researchers surveyed 2,021 American adults and found many enjoyed BDSM: spanking (30%), dominant/submissive role playing (22%), restraint (20%), whipping and flogging (13%). 43 percent had played sexually in public.
    • The number one erotic fantasy is to have sex with someone else other than one’s regular partner.

    We all now must think long and hard before we label any sex play weird or deviant, there is no normal. So we must be careful when calling anything abnormal.

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    We All Know What Foreplay is, But What is Afterplay

    Sex Play; This is why after sex, AfterPlay is just as important as ForePlay

    We all know that foreplay is the best way to get into an aroused sexual state, by heightening our intimate sensations, and that foreplay sex also increases the chances of women reaching orgasm. But apparently there’s another sex play stage that most couples are missing out on.

    According to Love guru Annabelle Knight in dailystar.co.uk, “afterplay” is actually the secret to maintaining an enjoyable experience in the bedroom.

    Annabelle says if you usually end up rolling over and falling asleep after having sex, then you could be damaging your relationship. But by just engaging in a bit of afterplay, which simply involves spending a little more time with your partner after you had sex, you can help to strengthen your bond.

    “If you think of sex as a long distance race, then foreplay is your warm up, the race itself is your sex session, and afterplay is your cool down. When you look at it like that it’s clear that it should be an important part of your sexual scenarios.” Annbelle said.

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    “By including a longer post sex routine you may find it helps to boost your interest in sex altogether, resulting in better sex, and more of it,” Annabelle said in her interview, continuing, “The core of great sex is feeling emotionally and physically attached to your partner, this is why afterplay is so important, but it’s often marginalised or completely ignored, which can lead to ill feeling between partners.”

    She added that the easiest way to dabble in afterplay is simply by kissing and cuddling after having sex. Or you can shower together, or by giving each another a massage, anything to extend the time of your physical contact after sex.

    Another way to extend your afterplay after sex is to talk about what turned you both on during your lovemaking session. Just by discussing it with one another can lead to even better sexual experiences in your sex play future.

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