4 tips for couples to help save your sex life

Sex educator and author says that although romance novels, porn, role play and lingerie are all great ways to spice up your sex life, they usually aren’t enough.

Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. and New York Times award-winning author, recently told the Better section of nbcnews.com that no matter how much you’re trying to pump the sexual accelerator, chronic stress from daily routines like work, childcare, and less sleep can put the brakes on your sex drive.

“Stress is a survival mechanism to help you when your body is sending you signals that say you are not safe right now,” Nagoski said, “and if you’re not safe right now, is that a good moment to be having sex?”

Here are four techniques Nagoski suggested that couples can do to help get their sex lives revved up again:

Schedule Time For Sex

Nagoski said that Couples who stay in long-term, happy relationships usually prioritize sex, and even put it on their calendars. So instead of thinking that scheduling your sex time is not very romantic, Nagoski asks, “..is there anything we do in our lives that’s important to us that we don’t schedule?”

Don’t “Chase” After Sex

Sometimes when one partner wants sex, the other just isn’t in the mood. But Nagoski says sex it isn’t about a desire for pleasure, it’s about a need for intimacy. So if your sex partner isn’t interested when you are, chances are they are really just too stressed out or exhausted.

So if your relationship lacks sex, the worst thing you can do is to chase it. Chasing after sex will probably only just increase their stress.

Don’t Focus So Much On Sex

Don’t make sex the goal, focus on building intimacy. Try to agree that you and your partner will go without having sex for a certain period. When the pressure for sex is off you’ll have space to be more intimate in other ways, like cuddling and kissing, which can reduce your stress levels and get you both in the mood to having sex again.

Considering Visiting A Sex Therapist

Nagoski said while that couples who have a strong friendship should be able to more easily do these exercises to rebuild their intimacy, some couples can find it more difficult, “My first recommendation is always to find a sex therapist, because we are all so tender and sensitive around sexuality, and it can be difficult to talk with each other about it in a way that is never blaming and never hurtful.”

Emily Nagosky’s mission in life is to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies.

How to revive your sex life

How to revive your sex life  Pune Mirror

The start of a new year is as good a time as any to make sex fun once again.

The Pune Mirror says to look at sex differently, try and look at it in a new way and see how it feels. “Be upfront about your sexual needs. If you know your body and how it functions, it is easier to communicate with your partner.”

Don’t be afraid to try role playing, new sexual positions, and get physical. And don’t be too shy to try new sex toys.

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Can Role Play Spice Up Your Sex Life?

Sex is always great in the beginning of a new relationship, but without the thrill of discovery or without anything new to look forward to the lust gradually wears off. If this is happening to you, role playing can add some sexual adventure and excitement back into your sex life!

How role playing spices up your sex life:

  • It lowers your inhibitions
  • Most people don’t even try role-playing because they feel insecure or inhibited by what they think their sex partner will think of them. But they’re probably just not realizing their partner is probably as turned on and excited to try something new as they are. Just be sure to talk about what you want to do and make sure your insecurities are addressed before you dive in to try role play.

  • You can choose who you want to be (in the bedroom)
  • Role play allows you to choose whoever you want to be in the bedroom. From the policeman or woman and burglar to the teacher-student fantasy affair, or even just pretending your sex partner is a random stranger you pick up in a bar, you will always have a wide variety of role playing character options to choose from.

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  • Role play boosts your sexual confidence
  • By trying something new, you’ll be more aware of your body so sexual role playing can boost your physical self confidence. Having better confidence in your role play character can give you better all-around self confidence, which can lead to GREAT sex.

    Do it right! Try to “get into character” as much as you can – use the right costumes, makeup and props, and be sure to find the right music that fits the mood and theme you are trying to create. But don’t go too crazy at first, If you are new to role play, try to keep it simple, you can gradually amp up your sexual role play fantasies as you both get more creative, and confident, in what you want to do. And who you want to be.

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