Sexy nurses, firefighters, schoolgirls… why is role-playing so hot to some people, but not for everyone? A clinical psychologist and an intimacy coach explains exactly what kind of person tends to be most inclined toward role play scenarios, and what needs role playing can help fulfill.
Updated January 12, 2023
Sexy nurses, firefighters, hitchhikers … why is role-playing so hot to some people, but not for everyone? Clinical psychologists and intimacy coaches alike know all too well what type of person typically tends to be more inclined to act out roleplaying scenarios with lovers, and what needs role playing helps them fulfill. But if you are curious about why some people are really into role-playing and wonder if it might be good for you too, read on! Now..
Roleplay sex can be a fun and exciting way for people to explore their sexuality and express their fantasies in a safe and consensual setting. It allows people to take on different personas and try out new experiences, which can be liberating and empowering. Additionally, roleplaying can also be used as a way for couples to spice up their sex life, or for people to explore kinks and fetishes that they may not feel comfortable expressing in their everyday lives. It’s a personal preference and different people have different reasons why they enjoy roleplaying.
1. Role play allows you to escape from reality
Role-play is really just an opportunity to escape our own reality. Labeling it so gives you permission to act in ways dramatically different from your own real self. Whether or not you will enjoy role playing depends on your own comfort level and how comfortable you are with stepping outside of your norm, and how comfortable you are with your sexual partner.
If you think your sex partner will be supportive and engage with you in role playing, then you’ll have opportunities for intimacy that you wouldn’t normally experience. But if you’re afraid, or if you think your partner wouldn’t fully be into it, then role playing can become stressful and a sexual turn-off.
So sexual roleplaying can be a form of escapism that allows people to be someone or something else for a little while, which can be liberating and cathartic. Roleplaying can also help people to improve their communication, intimacy and relationship skills.
2. Role play can get you out of your comfort zone
Generally, more risk seeking types of people with a strong sense of self-esteem, and people who are less sexually inhibited are more likely to be drawn towards role-playing. People with experience transforming themselves into other characters – actors, performers, athletes, singers, are usually more turned on by role playing.
But in reality anyone can participate in role playing. It can be a way for people to try out new experiences and scenarios that someone may not have had the opportunity to experience in reality.
For example, roleplaying can allow people to explore different power dynamics, such as dominance and submission, which can be empowering for some individuals but may not be something they would explore in their everyday lives. Roleplaying can also be a way for people to explore different fantasy scenarios, such as historical periods or different cultures, which can broaden their perspective and help them to gain new experiences.
Additionally, in roleplay, you can play different characters and experience different emotions, it can also help people to improve their empathy and social skills by practicing different scenarios, which can be beneficial for one’s personal growth.
Overall, roleplaying can be a way for people to step out of their comfort zone, explore new experiences and learn more about themselves and their desires.
3. Role play can fulfill your needs and desires
Sexual roleplaying can also be a way for couples to spice up their sex life and bring excitement and novelty to their relationship. For example, roleplaying can allow individuals to explore different power dynamics, such as dominance and submission, which can be empowering for some individuals and fulfill their desires for control or submission. Roleplaying can also be a way for people to explore different fantasy scenarios, such as historical periods or different cultures, which can broaden their perspective and fulfill their curiosity and desires for new experiences.
Roleplaying can also be a way for people to explore different forms of sexual expression, such as fetishes or kinks, which can fulfill their desires for specific types of sexual activity. It can also be a way for people to express their desires for different types of sexual partners, such as age play, or to explore different types of relationships, such as polyamory or BDSM.Overall, sexual roleplay can be a way for individuals to explore their desires and fulfill their sexual needs in a safe and consensual way. It can also be a fun way for couples to work on their intimacy and communication, and bring excitement to their relationship.
The most popular roles to play usually fall into two types – people in power positions (like police officers), or more inhibited characters (librarians). By giving the authority in role play to the more innocent roles, you can create stronger fantasies. Regardless of how shy or outspoken you are in real life, you can experiment with both submissive and dominant characters through role-playing. Sexually fulfilling role-playing could all just come down to doing what’s missing in your life, or what you are craving.
4. Sexual roleplaying can still be intimate
As long as both partners embrace role-play, it can be a powerful tool to enhance long term, committed relationships. So before beginning a new sex play adventure, talk to your partner so you can both agree to test out a specific fantasy. Because while you may be comfortable with trying a new scenario, your partner might not be. Don’t force it, otherwise you run the risk making it an anxious or very negative experience.
The experts say, find a starting point where both of you are reasonably comfortable. Sharing the experience of pretending to be somebody else can bring you closer together. As your experience together gets more enjoyable, the roles can expand. Experts also agree it’s a “huge turn-on” when both you and your partner are super into what’s happening.
Featured photo by Alexander Krivitskiy.
Frequently asked questions about RolePlay
Role-play is really just an opportunity to escape our own reality. Labeling it so gives you permission to act in ways dramatically different from your own real self.
The most popular roles to play usually fall into two types: people in power positions – like police officers, or more inhibited characters – such as librarians. By giving the authority to the more innocent roles, you can create stronger fantasies.
As long as both partners embrace role-play, it can be a powerful tool to enhance long term, committed relationships because sharing the experience of pretending to be somebody else can bring you closer together.
Find a starting point where both of you are reasonably comfortable. As your experience together gets more enjoyable, the roles can expand. Experts also agree it’s a “huge turn-on” when both you and your partner are both into what’s happening.