How to Begin Your Sexual Role Playing Adventure

For some, the phrase ‘role play’ can send a shiver of excitement down our spines, but for others it’s might be more an uncomfortable chill of fear. But it doesn’t have to be. Many people find it easier than others to develop a new ‘part-time’ persona to explore sexual situations they normally would never do, which allows allows them to experience greater fulfillment and brings them closer to their partner.

A recent survey said that 73% of couples had experimented with role play at some time in their lives, but if you’re a beginner, how do you get into it without feeling weird?

handcuffed BDSM girl's breasts

Annabelle Knight,a leading Relationship & Sex Expert in the UK, gives practical advice for first time role players to femalefirst.co.uk. First, know what you want. Annabelle says if you’re thinking about bringing role play to your sex life it’s important to think about what you want to get out of it, and choose the right role playing situations that fit. For example, if you want to try bondage for the first time and you don’t want to just be “yourself”, try a police themed role play scenario and use handcuffs. Want to play the more submissive type? Try playing the secretary and boss, or doctor/nurse role playing themes.

Then, once you know what you want, talk through it. Annabelle suggests that you explain exactly what you want to happen in your role-playing sex fantasy. If your partner knows exactly what you’re after it’s easier to improvise around the ‘plot’.

After you plan your theme and choose your outfit, ie; police officer, business suit, nurse outfit, etc., think about your “setting”. Are you in an interrogation room, a business office, classroom, hospital bed? Try to make your setting fit the feel.

Other beginner role playing ideas could include acting as sexy strangers that meet for the first time somewhere, like at a local hotel bar, or even playing a hitchhiker. Wear a wig or other disguise, develop your stories, and let the flirtation begin!

What is the Anal Sex 45-Degree Rule

Have you ever heard of the “45-degree rule” when having anal sex? Not many people have, but according to refinery29.com, besides anal lube it’s the best key to enjoyable anal sex play for both men and women.

When inserting anal beads, a butt plug, a dildo or penis inside the anus, don’t just “stick it in your butt and go”. The 45-degree rule refers to the angle in which you are tilting the object into the butt. So if you want to take your anal sex butt play to the next level and unlock erogenous zones you never even knew you had, start using the 45-degree rule as soon as you can.

Warm Up With Butt Plugs – at an Angle

Since going straight for anal can cause pain, and nobody wants that, you’ll have to warm up the ass for sex play first.

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Certified sex educator and sex toy company ‘b-Vibe’ CEO, Alicia Sinclaire, told the online magazine that focuses on young women that she recommends using butt plugs, “Butt plugs apply pressure and push towards the clitoral structure or prostate. They can definitely be used as a warm up for penetration, but they can also be an awesome main course,”

Because the anus muscle requires some extra work to be ready for penetration with bigger objects, butt plugs not only warm up the anus for penetration for the larger sex toys or penis, but they also stimulate the prostate and the anus opening, creating a feeling of fullness.

“If you’re having difficulty getting your butt plug in, warm up with a finger or two first and use lots of lube. Help your body open-up before you try using an anal sex toy.”

So how does the 45 degree rule come into play? The best way to slide your anal sex toys in and out of the anus, for easier insertion and best pleasure, is at an optimal angle, “Slowly angle the toy downward about 45 degrees, so that one side of the bulb slides inside the anus. Keep the toy at that depth, and then gently angle the toy upward about 45 degrees,” Sinclair said.

“Go back and forth like that a few times, gently going a bit further in with each change in direction. It’s similar to the way you can get a tight pair of jeans on by shimmying your hips side to side, but a lot slower. Once the bulb is past the internal anal muscle, the toy should slip into place.”

anal sex play warm up

Because the A-spot is located at the inner ends of the vagina between the cervix and bladder, some women can actually reach the back of the clitoris through anal sex. Not every woman will feel the stimulation, but there is no harm in trying.

Sinclaire says, “If you own a vulva, anal orgasms can often happen through indirect stimulation of the erogenous zones inside the vagina. The G-spot and A-spot, are key places for pleasurable stimulation through the shared wall between the vagina and rectum.”

She said deep penetrative positions, such as doggy style, can help to hit the A-spot. The 45-degree rule applies here also, “Once in position, you’ll want to instruct your partner to angle 45 degrees upward (toward your belly button).”

The person on the bottom, or person receiving anal stimulation, is always in control. Move back and forth on your partner’s penis or dildo while arching your back.

Since every person’s body is different, you’ll have to be patient to find out what works for you. It will probably take time to find the right way to stimulate your partner (or yourself) during anal sex for optimal pleasure, but once you’ve done it, you’re in for quite a treat!

Ask These Anal Sex Lovers if They Know the Anal Sex 45-Degree Rule

Judy Garland Loved to Role Play During Sex, and the Munchkins Were Horny

Judy Garland Loved Role Play Sex in the Bedroom

Judy Garland’s former lover, John Meyer, admitted that Judy loved to role play in the bedroom, and she loved sex. Speaking of their previous affair the couple had when Meyer was a 28 year old pianist and Judy Garland was 46, Meyer told People Magazine the pair “loved to laugh together.”

Meyer said that when talking about The Wizard of Oz, Judy would say, “The munchkins were a bunch of horny little guys and they were not above pinching my ass.” Meyer also said with a laugh, “And she made jokes about Toto’s bad breath.”

In the bedroom, Judy Garland liked role playing and have fun, Meyer said, “We did a lot of role playing… we’d do scenes back and forth and we’d make up our own improvs. She’d say ‘Tonight, you be the professor and I’ll be the student.’ It was a lot of fun. That was more important to her than the actual sex.”

Judy Garland publicity photo PlaySex[caption id=
Judy Garland Publicity Photo

Meyer said when Judy Garland moved into a spare bedroom in his parent’s Park Avenue apartment Judy was broke, and owed several million dollars to the IRS after her agent had embezzled most of her earnings. She was also divorced from her fourth husband, Mark Herron. She was booted out of St. Moritz Hotel in New York for not paying the bill, where she’d been living with her two younger children, Lorna and Joey Luft.

Meyer said, “She was broke, literally had nothing but a five dollar bill in her purse.”

Judy Garland Wizard of Oz original poster
Judy Garland, Wizard of Oz original poster

“I became her manager, her agent, her lover, her companion, the shoulder that she could lean on,” Meyer explained, “It was amazing. Her reality was that she would rely on the kindness of strangers.”

After they were kicked out of Meyer’s parents’ apartment, and ten days before Garland was traveling to London, Meyer became very sick with a fever of 104. Then Meyer explained. “That’s nothing. I’ve been on stage with 106,” Judy said. Then she dumped him.

Judy Garland and Fifth Husband Mickey Deans
Judy Garland and her fifth husband, Mickey Deans, whom she went to London for and married soon after.

When looking back on Judy Garland’s life, and reflecting on how she saw herself, Meyer said, “She thought her life was a gas, a ball,” he said. “She didn’t think her life was painful. She was funny. She experienced joy. She loved sex. She didn’t love food. She loved to sing and she loved the attention.”

“She was a compulsion, you know?” John told the magazine, “I realized that this mission of mine to restore Judy to her former greatness and be the guy who rescued her was not going to work.”

There is a renewed interest in the life of Judy Garland, who died of an accidental overdose in 1969, at least in part due to the 2019 biographical drama, “Judy” where Renee Zellweger played the starring role. For her incredible portrayal of Judy Garland, Zellweger won the Academy Award for Best Actress, as well as the Golden Globe Award, SAG Award, BAFTA Award and Critics’ Choice Movie Award. The hit movie followed Garland’s career during her last year of life when she relocated her stage career to Britain, combined with flashbacks of her teenage years. The film more prominently featured Garland’s most iconic role, Dorothy Gale in The Wizard of Oz.

Judy Garland from the trailer for the film The Wizard of Oz PlaySex.com
Judy Garland from the trailer for the film The Wizard of Oz

Minnesota Public Schools Ask Students to Role Play Gay and Trans Sex Scenarios

School Teaches Gay & Transgendered Sex, Anal Sex, to Students

Activists at the Richfield Public Schools board are speaking out against a controversial sex education program where it’s students participate in role-playing gay and transgender sex scenarios, or pretending to be transgender to have sex with women.

Julie Quist, a Child Protection League board member, said at the meeting, “Programs like 3Rs are not effective, this type of teaching has no place in our schools”. The “3Rs” represent “rights, respect, responsibility”, was designed by Planned Parenthood partner, Advocates for Youth.

“It sexualizes children and normalizes sexual behavior at a young age, teaching sexual pleasure, masturbation, anal, and oral sex, and that consent is all that is needed,” Quist said.

The play sex scenarios have students pair up and pretend they are in gay or lesbian relationships, and have them go through the process of deciding whether or not they should have sex.

In one lesson, two students are asked to play the parts of an actively gay member of the school’s LBGTQ club, and another as a “straight” student, where they develop a plan for the two students to secretly meet and have sex.

Other school curriculum will has students in kindergarten through fifth grade learning about anal sex as a way to prevent HIV / AIDS, and it was alleged that the teachers instructed children how to do it.

The lesson plan for the sex-ed curriculum is almost 700 pages, and parents were given the option for their children to opt-out.

In a district statement, representative wrote, “We do NOT teach elementary students about anal sex, show them graphic images, or ask them to role play, as has been reported by some media outlets”.

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