Psychology Today: Most Americans Have Tried Unconventional Sex

Sex is adult play. Like in any playground, there are many possibilities, none better or worse than the other. it doesn’t matter how adults “twist the sheets”. It’s play. It’s pleasure, and erotic pleasure is uniquely individual.

Psychology Today says that what passes for “conventional lovemaking” today for some – heterosexual kissing, cuddling, vaginal intercourse and maybe some oral sex, most Americans have played with sex in other ways.

Some of their more interesting findings were:

  • More than half of American women own at least one vibrator.
  • Most Americans lose their virginity in their late teens, mostly around 17 years old, which is just one or two years later than today’s grandparents did.
  • Premarital sex is universal, 95 percent of Americans were not virgins on their wedding nights.
  • 15 to 20 percent of American men patronize sex workers, prostitutes, at some point in their lives.
  • Eleven percent of Americans (around 30 million people) are not exclusively heterosexual.
  • Before age 50, 40 percent of Americans have experimented with oral-anal sex (analingus), penis-anus intercourse, sphincter massage, fingering or toy insertions.
  • Many Americans with chronic conditions and disabilities can’t play conventional sex roles and make love in other ways.
  • Many elderly lovers can’t accomplish intercourse, so they instead play sex with hand jobs, oral, toys, and even some other forms of kinky sex.
  • About 20 percent of American adults have had group sex, or engaged in threesomes, polyamory or swinging.
  • Indiana University researchers surveyed 2,021 American adults and found many enjoyed BDSM: spanking (30%), dominant/submissive role playing (22%), restraint (20%), whipping and flogging (13%). 43 percent had played sexually in public.
  • The number one erotic fantasy is to have sex with someone else other than one’s regular partner.

We all now must think long and hard before we label any sex play weird or deviant, there is no normal. So we must be careful when calling anything abnormal.

Can Kinky Sex Play be the Secret to Your Success

  1. Kinky Sex Could Be the Secret to Your Success  

    According to HarpersBazaar.com, having kinky sex might just be the secret to your success. Recent research confirms that if you desire kinky sex, it can benefit you not only in the bedroom, but outside of it as well.

    Unconventional sexual practices and fantasies like BDSM, group sex and role play have been shown to reduce psychological stress, improve mental health, and can even help you to have satisfying and communicative relationships. And believe it or not, they say kinky people have also been found to have higher self-worth than those who are too afraid or ashamed to pursue their fantasies!

    Jamila Dawson, a Los Angeles-based sex therapist specializing in kink and polyamory, told the online magazine that a healthy relationship to kink can “absolutely be the underlying cause of some people’s success. I see this all the time in my practice.”

    That’s probably all we need to know! But if you want too read the entire article, including seeing their cool graphics describing the benefits of being a DOM and a Sub, and all the other benefits of kinky sex play, go here HarpersBAZAAR.com

Are the Schneiderman Allegations Sexual Role-Play, or Abuse

  1. Schneiderman Allegations Aren’t Sexual ‘Role-Playing’ – They’re Abuse  

    When multiple women accused the former Attorney General of assault, he said it was BDSM. But that’s not what sex play looks like.

    RollingStone.com

  2. Eric Schneiderman and Men Who Excuse Violence As ‘Kink’  The Cut
  3. ‘Brown Slave’: Disgraced Eric Schneiderman Was Apparently Into Racist Role Playing During Sex  News One
  4. The Problem With ‘Feminist’ Men  New York Times
  5. Full coverage

How Consent and BDSM Role-Play Actually Works

  1. Here’s How Consent and BDSM Role-Play Should Actually Work

    Role playing means two people have a conversation and decide, “I think this sounds really hot, now how can we sensibly play this out?”

    But you have to negotiate before you start playing. When you negotiate, you talk transparently about what you like, your no-go zones, and you say what you might or might not be be okay with.

    If you slap, learn how to do it safely and be prepared to support each other emotionally. An article in thecut.com explains, in great detail, ways to enjoy BDSM and sexual role play without crossing the line, including:

    • Responsible BDSM players do not negotiate or play while intoxicated.
    • A master-slave contract takes time, thought, and sensitivity to negotiate.
    • Race play requires extra-sensitive negotiation and consent.
    • All roeplay requires an affirmative yes from both partners to all planned activities.
    • Always establish a safe word.
    • Accidents happen even when there is consent and proper preparation, but there’s a way to deal with that.
    • Consent is ongoing, and it can be rescinded at any time.

     The Cut